The holiday season is upon us once again. We all know that the holidays can bring both positive and negative feelings: excitement, anticipation, the comfort of traditions, pressure to make it the best holiday EVER. Just like the endless movies on the Hallmark Channel. What a wonderful time of the year to fall in love, rekindle ties and sip hot chocolate next to a perfectly decorated tree. For many people, that imagery is as unimaginable as a science fiction movie. This time of the year can also be stressful, lonely, overwhelming, and grief-filled: very much NOT a Hallmark Channel version of life. Everything that we see on television just heightens the negative feelings that they are already grappling with.
Unlike other trims of the year, there is an odd cultural fixation on sentimental perfection during the holiday season. It isn’t just a nice time of the year; it has to be both an idealized and flawless time of the year. Then, the more we realize how far our day to day lives with their challenges and voids vary from the commercial narrative we are watching- it becomes that much more painful.
However, by increasing our awareness of just a few key things, and making a couple adjustments to our expectations and habits, we may be able to reduce stress and increase joy as we wrap up the year. Let’s start by setting ourselves up for success. What are the expectations that you have set for yourself? Are they realistic? What is your vision, but what importantly what is your energy that you are willing to devote exclusively to the vision. Just because we imagine something to be the perfect ideal, does not mean it is. There is good all around- and it usually isn’t wrapped in a tidy bow. It’s the spontaneous moments that we share, or the calmness of inner vision and developing a routine of self-care. By focusing on moments, starting with what we each need to recharge our batteries each day, we can significantly change our experience of this most important time.
