If we were to choose one word to sum up the Enneagram Type 2 it would be “Helper”. You can count on a Type 2. They will stand by you through thick and thin and give until they are drained. Their loyalty, however, is different that the loyalty we see in the Type 6. This is because their underlying motivations are different. Type 2’s feel that they are loved only if they are giving to others. Generous to a fault, they run the risk of overlooking their own needs. To gain the love and approval they crave, they feel they must keep the needs and desires of others in focus. It is by giving that we will receive. The more we give, the greater we will be loved. And, if we love and give enough, we will become indispensable.
Type 2’s are members of the Heart Triad, (along with Type 3s and Type 4s). For the members of this Triad, the first reaction in any given situation is to feel. Sensitive to the energy of their surrounding and the unspoken, this Triad tends to be emotional when pushed with a hidden sense of private shame hovering below the surface. The Achilles heel of this group would be their strong sense of Pride which may present itself as jealousy.
2s tend to be over emotional with their reactions not always aligning to the severity of the situation. Of all the members of the Enneagram, Type 2s are “the criers”. But this reaction must be looked at in perspective. When an outburst occurs, it is typically the result of an inordinate amount of selfless giving on their part. They give. And they give. And they give some more. They repress their own needs thinking that the giving is a way to “pay it forward” and silently expect to be repaid with love. However, their level of giving and the blind emotional investment they have paid is typically not possible to repay in a way they the 2 feels is adequate. So, they will continue to give and eventually explode. To the recipient, the behavior seems completely out of character for the 2. After all the 2 is the Helper. The kind and thoughtful friend who if often generous to a fault. What you must realize when interacting with a 2, is that there is a deep motivation underlying the generosity. 2s are the givers, but it is interesting to note that they seldom give anonymously. For them, their generosity warrants love, so they want their giving to be known. Giving is a type of currency that they hope will be repaid in full.
It is possible for the cycle of endless giving to continue, which eventually lead to burnout and often will manifest in the form of physical ailments in the 2. Maybe if they were sick, the recipient will step up and finally take care of them? A 2 can always wish. 2s are also notorious for overstepping invisible boundaries. In their minds, they have given, and if the level of reciprocity isn’t deemed adequate by them, they are “owed”. They may borrow things without first seeking permission or overstep social boundaries because they feel that they have earned extra privileges. Theirs is a world of checks and balances.
With 2s, their personal needs often run the risk of being overlooked. Eventually, if they give enough, they reason that it will be their turn to be taken care of. However, this seldom if ever plays out the way they imagine it will. 2s believe that is they factor themselves into the equation, they are being selfish. They struggle with the concept that self-care is different from being selfish. A healthy 2 has come to the realization that they must first give to themselves before they give to others. The luxury of self-care will create a personal freedom for the 2 and they will come to the realization that others will love them for who they are, not for what they do.