“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”
The greeting is almost overwhelming. The cheers echo in your ears. As if on cue, a well-wishing crowd of family and friends break into a rousing chorus of, “Happy Birthday to You.” You look down and your beautiful birthday cake is adorned with blazing candles. The singing stops with cheerful calls to, “Blow out your candles! MAKE A WISH!”
Pause that image.
If this was a magical wish that was guaranteed to come true, what would you wish for? What things come to mind? Most people have a long wish list of wants: wealth, love, the trappings that come with success….
On their face, those things seems like they would make anyone happy. Right? Well, maybe. Maybe not.
We’ve all daydreamed about having the things or the people or the situations in our life that we think will make us happy. Our dream jobs, homes or relationships. Our thought pattern tends to stop with the attainment of the wish. We imagine getting what we want; then of course we imagine that will make us complete and we will then live happily ever after. The subject of the wish is the one missing puzzle piece that will make us whole. The thing that fills our void.
Does it really work that way? Sometimes, we are “lucky” enough to get what we wish for, but does it make us happy? Usually not. We dream of the luxury car, we get it, then realize the cost of the insurance, maintenance and repairs, plus the need for a safe place to park it, not to mention we first need the license and the ability to drive it. Often, when the reality of the situations surrounding our wishes come to fruition, it does lead to the fulfillment we dreamed about. To the contrary, the disappointment of reality creates a personal emptiness. We were sure attainment of the dream would make us happy and complete, but we overlooked the additional circumstances that the wish might create. The luxury car which creates a financial burden and is unreliable. The significant other that may fill one void; but ends up creating three others.
This can be translated into the work environment. Many people chase after what they imagine to be a dream job. What might that position have? Typically, it would be a high income, or at least a higher income. Or a special status. Many people don’t imagine beyond salary and title. Is that enough? What about what you, as a person, needs? Do you crave creativity? An empathetic environment? A lifetime of learning? Co-workers who are actual friends? Maybe a dream job should just be one that will create happiness and satisfaction for you at your core. Rather than what you think you want, imagine what you need. Focus on the smaller, often superfluous details, you know will make you feel satisfied and whole.
So now imagine blowing out your birthday candles and wishing for “a position that I will never want to retire from” or “a job that I love so much I don’t think of it as work.” Certainly, those wishes are not as sexy as “I wish I had a million dollars” or “I wish I had a mansion” Those latter wishes are the shiny objects that we think will solve our problems and create personal fulfillment. If we think it through, we soon realize they won’t.
Be brave enough to reflect and pursue what you need. It is in self-reflection and fulfillment of our unique personal needs that we become complete as human beings. After all, be careful of what you wish for. You just may get it!